What I Am Supposed To Do?

Mood : Not Very Happy.
▶Music♩♪♫♬ One Day by Charice (This song gives me more strength and keep on thinking positively)

What I am supposed to do? Argh there's so many things got into my mind right now. I really don't want to keep this to myself anymore....

Everyone is not perfect. We will make mistakes in our life. That's normal.. I know that fact and I just don't know how to handle this case anymore. What I mean is,everyone seems to keep a high expectation on me and when I didn't reach what they think of,I'll be blamed for it. Argh that is so frustrating..

One more thing,I have told you that I'm working right now. Yes I am.. and there's no work that doesn't have any tense isn't it? Yeah.. but I think I can't stand being lied again.. I know I have made a big mistake from the very beginning.. And I think it's time for me to adjust everything that happens...I should take the first and the last step for this and I still thinking about this hmm..

I know I am not good too but there's so many things that I need to consider. I get too confused with all of this and I'm tired of being on control again. I am already 19 but sometimes I still think that I am not mature enough. I kept thinking things as the same way and I don't see any differences of them from last five years! :(

Even though I have made a decision,other people won't agree and still think that I need improvement in this.. Arghhhhh.... I hope I will choose the best way to handle this!